Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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