O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mom said you looked used
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
