her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
