my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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