you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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