you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
