Best friends brother. Beat that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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