Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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