i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
