glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
