She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
