It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
