Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
