I wish I could teleport
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
