How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
