And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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