My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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