all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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