Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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