isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
