I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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