I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
