I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
