I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Alive.
So much puke
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
