Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
