i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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