everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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