im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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