you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
