I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Randomize
