Soap is not a condiment
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
