Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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