I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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