I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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