Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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