Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
