I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
