he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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