I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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