You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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