I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
