I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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