I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
