I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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