The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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