when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
