eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
