Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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