i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
