She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
