True but thats because hes a fetus.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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